"As empty as that wine bottle"

Lunch was so delicious as I sat back enjoying every bite and every single bit of our conversation...Oh how I can now just sit in the presence of amazing women and see how blessed I am. We laughed so hard talking about the craziness of our past and my gorgeous friend Rene says I remember drinking that bottle and feeling emptier than that wine bottle. "Aghhh" I got flooded with dreadful memories of numerous times that I myself drank till I couldn't drink anymore. Passing out until I was numb...Just straight numb!

For years I did this endless gig of charades. Were I was the ring master of my destiny. I played Russian roulette with my life wanting to just end the misery of what existed and the pain inside me.

The sad part of this reality is that I haven't been the only one to live this. For some that empty bottle feeling can come in the form of shopping, drugs, endless sex partners, or controlling someone. The emptiness can make us reach out to anything that will fill the void.

But what have I learned about this is that first we must recognize it as a problem, secondly deal with the problem.

We can all just say it's ok God will deal with the void, or ignore it and continue to act as if we are perfect in our life. We can continue to carry a facade and carry on with our mask. But at the end of the day we ourselves are hurting in the void.

"My soul is all an aching void"- Charles Wesley

Why we void and feel the empty feeling can differ from each individual. But we all have one common void. To fill the void can be easier said than done. We all have within us our soul and our soul speaks volumes. We were intended to have a relationship with our creator. A deep meaningful relationship;. Secondly the void can be a lack of purpose also God driven.

Our purpose/calling is not the same as our talents, gifts and abilities we have. Even though your purpose can be tied in.

So to break this down a bit...

I will share with you my experience of how I was able to fill that empty feeling and void that existed. I first had to turn it over to God, surrender that I was empty and ask God to fill me up. I then had to sit with God and seek guidance where my deepest void came from.

As many of you know I've had an ugly past, long story short many traumatic experiences caused me to run to the liquor bottle, but aside from that I'm multi-talented. I was not using any of my talents, or gifts, much less serving my purpose. So indeed my soul was hurting a great deal and the void was big in my life.

I began to volunteer my time, I returned to school for fashion and began my own Hang-bag line. I started attending church regularly and created meaningful friendships. I started counseling yes, counseling we all need it.

I have continued to stay in prayer through the years. The void began to go away little by little. I'm not going to lie it's a process, BUT well worth it.

I have a great relationship with a loving man, my life continues to flourish, I sing, dance and sew, and cook. My heart feels full. I continue to work on myself daily with scriptures and add meaning and purpose daily to my life and others.

I hope and that this will help fill the void for either you or someone you know. I know that helping people is part of my purpose so I know that this one is meant for the right person to read, Enjoy!...

Blessings,

Angie