Freedom in forgiveness

Have you ever had someone you've had to forgive???

I have.....

They say forgiveness is a process, and until now I could see its not linear either.

6 months ago when the Lord dropped into my spirit to write a book on forgiveness I thought ok, no problem I can do that.

I started writing and writing and writing some more, getting things out. It felt good getting out what I had trapped inside me until.....I hit a speed bump, then the speed bump turned into mountain.

Sometimes we think that we can forgive and let go, and move on and just be happy. Don't we all wish it was that easy. But what I can say though is that forgiveness is possible.

From personal experience it's something that can be a moment to moment, day to day or sometimes hour by hour. But looking back I have come a long way. Forgiving someone who has hurt you tremendously obviously can take a huge blow to your heart. I remember having days of much heart pain, and days of horrible anger.

And days of nothing, like really nothing to feel.

When therapist say you have to do the work, forgiveness is the work.... the dirty work.

What I did to forgive

I wrote...I wrote what I felt regardless of how ugly it was.

I sat... I sat with my feelings and allowed myself to feel it all.

I drove by myself.... driving in a car with no noise allowed me to find peace.

I prayed... I prayed for god to heal my heart, over and over again.

I took care of myself.... I began doing things for me, hair treatments, face masks, skin care routines, affirmations. (this was huge)

The largest piece in forgiving was forgiving myself, and taking care of myself was my way of letting go of who I was then, claiming and speaking affirmations began to change the way I saw myself ultimately healing my heart and causing me to forgive. (It was in my actions that I took to care for myself that made the change.)

This has been a hard road, but I can say I'm better for it. I can value myself and forgive those who hurt me. Knowing that I am loved and lovable and although I nor you deserve to be treated unfairly we can learn to love ourselves into a place of freedom.

Forgiveness is freedom, not for the other person but for yourself.

You're worth far more worth than rubies....Proverbs 31:10

Much love,

Angie Castillo