Facing the Shame...

And then I said "Lord pull it from the root" ......

That's how the conversation started but only after the horrible memory surfaced. I'm standing praying God help me, help me heal what needs to be healed so I can move on with my life. I think for the past 5 years that was my daily mantra. Heal my heart, heal my , heal my heart. I had so many reasons as of why I should be stuck, why I couldn't move on with my life, why I haven't been able to have a relationship, and why I pushed people away.

I remember finally reading one day about the woman that kept praying to the Lord for a child and finally one day she changed her prayer saying ....In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” 1 Samuel 1:10-11

So I did the same "Lord if you reveal the source of my shame and pull it from the root, I will use it Lord for your glory" I said I will tell others what you did for me. How you healed me from Shame..

And like the scripture from above says "Looking to Jesus the author of out faith....DESPISING the SHAME....I set down Shame at the cross.

I set my shame, my sadness, and I accepted the freedom from our Lord and Savior. For most of my life carrying shame and guilt and then learning to let it go isn't the easiest thing to do, and believe me these things don't want to let go either. It's a battle, and one that can be won. For to long have a lived with me thinking I was bad, I was a bad little girl for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. A bad girl for getting pregnant at a young age, I was a bad girl for getting in trouble with the law, I was a bad girl for sleeping around.....Then I saw the BIG picture that the shame that bounded me created the bad girl syndrome in me and I reacted to proving to being bad. I already carried the root of it.

Friends I carried the shame for as long as I could remember, but I made a choice a deep weep from my soul to let it go. For a deep exchange and receive the Love of God instead. I know that if I can do it, you can too. My life has been destroyed, my family, my children have been affected by it because of years of depression that carried the shame and guilt. But I have I set down at the cross, at the right hand of my Godly father. I've chosen to go on with my life.

I encourage you if you have carried shame, to make that exchange, pray to God and say I'm ready to let this go. Please show me how, believe me friends he will. I pray that what I shared will give you the strength you need and it will bless your life.

Blessings, Angie Castillo

#shame #healingshame #confrontation #exchangewithgod